My "love story" started way before I even knew that a Simeon James Brazzell was walking on the face of the earth! Let's make the starting point my dinner table on my 12th birthday, for it was on this birthday that I received one of the greatest gifts my parents have ever given me, my purity ring. That night, my Dad did a devotion on purity and how God desired for me to keep not only my body pure until marriage, but also my heart and mind! That night, I made a commitment to my parents and to my Lord that I would save myself for the man that God would have me marry.
Now, fast-forwarding to the high-school years. . . as I began to "grow up," that commitment started getting harder than it was when I was 12. I knew the boundaries as far as purity of body, but I began wonder what the lines for purity of mind and heart were. It seemed as though everyone around me was dating and enjoying having a girl friend or boy friend. And oh how I wanted to be a part of that! I wanted to know that Mr.______ would be waiting for me when I got to Sunday school! I wanted to have a guy to call and text! I wanted to fit in with everyone else! What I did NOT want was to be the one without a date to the Jr./Sr. Banquet, or have people asking all the time why I wasn't dating anyone. Because of these feelings, I began to grow very impatient with the Lord. Now, my parents had told me up front that I was not allowed to date until I was in college, but I at least wanted a "special friend" (as Mom would say) while I was in high school. I spent many hours pining away wondering when I would find my special someone. I also spent too much time watching chick flicks and reading Inspiration Romances (which I now realize did NOT help the situation, but that thought is for another time). Looking back, I see that I wasn't so much concerned with falling in love with a guy, as much as I was falling in love with love! I had painted a picture in my mind of what love is from the movies, books, and examples of the teens around me, and I had fallen in love with that idea of "love"! (which I now know was very far from what love truly is!) But, through it all, my parents kept encouraging me to wait on God and trust Him. I heard a preacher who said that every teen should be praying for their future spouse, whether you knew who they were or not. This thought was so profound to me! So that is what I began doing. Now I'll have to admit that sometimes when I prayed for my man, even though I prayed generically, I would have possible faces in mind, wondering if I was praying for "him." I went through all of high school single. I wish now I would've spent that time devoting myself more to the Lord instead of allowing my heart and mind to be given to this fantasy idea of love. But God was working in my heart. . .
Onto the college years. . . I was finally of dating age! Now, which one is the guy for me?! On the outside, no one would ever have know that I was scoping, trying to find my Mr. Perfect, but in my heart, I was on the look out! I spent my freshman year and the 1st semester of my sophomore year hoping that "he" would cross my path! But then God used different circumstances to make me realize that I wasn't the one who was supposed to be looking!! Really, I didn't have to be looking!! God already had my guy picked out! And when He thought the time was right, He'd bring that man into my life. Finally, after years of pining and searching, I let go! I told the Lord that I was going to leave this in His hands! I turned the reins over to God, and decided that I was done trying to figure it out on my own. What peace filled my heart!! I knew that God was in control! I knew that while God's ways may not be my ways, His ways are ALWAYS best!
I have a best friend who can totally vouch for what I'm about to say. . . It was hardly any time after I turned it over to God and told her that I was not going to look for a guy my Junior year of college that God brought Simeon into my path! The funny thing is that Simeon had been at my church, in my youth group, at my college the whole time! All those years that I was searching for my man, he was right under my nose, and I had no idea! Maybe Simeon will write soon and tell you our story from his perspective. It's quite an interesting one!
As of today, I am 151 days away from marrying the Love of my life! I want to thank God for leading us to each other! I want to thank God for giving me parents who cared about my life and my purity, and who taught me to trust God and let Him lead me. Yes, there are things that I wish I would've done differently, but God used it all to teach me and to bring me to this point! By God's grace, Simeon is the only man I have ever dated! He is the only man (other than my family) who I have ever said the words "I love you" to. And soon, he will be the man I stand before and pledge my body, heart, and mind to!
Reader, I'm not sure at what stage you are at in life. Maybe you are a parent or grandparent. If so, encourage your children/grandchildren to be pure and to wait on the Lord!! We need your encouragement and prayers more than you'd ever know! Maybe you are a young person. If so, please turn EVERY area of your life over to God's control! And please take a stand for purity!! In today's world, those who are taking a stand and remaining pure for their future spouse are growing fewer and fewer. And while you are trying to work purity in your own heart, I challenge you to start praying for your spouse too! It amazed me when I found out later that about the time I began to pray for my future husband was a time when he needed prayers the most!
Again, I apologize for the length of this post, but it is my prayer that God may use my testimony to be a blessing to even just one person!
All for His Glory,
Brettnay
P.S. I want to end by saying that any good in my life is only because of my Savior and the grace He has extended to me. May He be the one who receives all the glory!
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